I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
