yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
