Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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