my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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