plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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