capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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