There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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