I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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