This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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