break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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