Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
