somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
