I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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