Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
