ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
