I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My vagina just recognized that song.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
