Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize