it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize