Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
