who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
