I feel great
I just peed on a car
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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