He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
