my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
