happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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