Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?

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(845): View more from New York

I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge

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(201): View more from New Jersey

A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up

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(904): View more from Florida

Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.

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(302): View more from Delaware

This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut

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(818): View more from California

Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation

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