I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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