He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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