let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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