Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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