I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
And then my night got REAL pukey
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
