i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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