My brain says no but my pants say off.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
