I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
