Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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