So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He did a backflip because drugs
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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