Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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