im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
