YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so that wasnt chicken after all
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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