before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
