Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
two words: eviction party
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
