some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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