i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
