i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
either way he was missing a nipple.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You were trust falling into bushes
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
