Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
