Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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