how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
