Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
