Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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