There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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