whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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