Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
