He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
