This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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