is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
