me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
