dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
