Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
