So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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