I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
