No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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