You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize