Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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