i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
