Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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