Im at strip club and am horny
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize