Do vagina's smell?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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