You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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