I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize