Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
